The Beacon of Hope
In the ever-evolving tapestry of mental and emotional well-being, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) shines brilliantly. It's not just another therapy; it's a practical tool that can produce powerful and lasting results in one’s life.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was developed primarily by Steven C. Hayes in the 1980s. Hayes, along with Kelly G. Wilson and Kirk D. Strosahl, are considered the primary figures responsible for the evolution and popularization of ACT. They have written extensively on the topic and have been instrumental in the spread and application of ACT in various clinical settings. While many researchers and therapists have since contributed to the further development and dissemination of ACT, Hayes, Wilson, and Strosahl remain central figures in its origins and foundational literature.
Even though we're just at the outset of this article, I must admit to a slight digression. But bear with me; there's a valid reason. ACT is not just another therapeutic approach. It stands tall, backed by extensive data attesting to its efficacy—both immediate and sustained—across diverse treatment scenarios. But where ACT truly shines is in its ability to function as a transformative tool, for anyone to use! It delves into natural human attributes, referred to as processes in ACT, that when engaged with, can radically reshape one's life experience—be it in therapeutic settings, the corporate world, or the realm of athletics.
All this being said, to me ACT is more than a therapeutic approach; ACT offers a window not just to healing but profound self-awareness. It gives us a functional way to explore and develop our emotions and thoughts such that we have and can leverage new levels of resiliency and inspiration to move forward in a powerful way.
Central to this journey is a pivotal concept: 'acceptance', and today we are going to explore this.
Redefining Acceptance
Let’s start by creating a common distinction as to what the word ‘acceptance’ is in the context of this post.
Within the sprawling landscape of therapeutic modalities, 'acceptance' often wears the cloak of resignation—a supposed white flag to life's relentless battles. However, ACT introduces us to acceptance as a potent tool, a proactive embrace of our emotions, allowing us to navigate life in harmony with our deepest values.
Acceptance in this realm isn't mere acknowledgment. It's an invitation. An invitation to delve deep, to bear a heart-felt witness of and through this come to better understand our emotions, channeling them into powerful agents of personal evolution.
Acceptance has, for long, been painted with strokes of passivity—a quiet nod to life's unfolding. But what if acceptance was our compass, guiding us to harness life's tempests for our personal enrichment?
Its etymology suggests a proactive stance. Rooted in ancient French and Latin, acceptance is all about willingly "taking or receiving", highlighting an innate agency—a choice.
But to leverage acceptance, we must venture down a path where a powerful choice is not just an option, but the doorway to great potential.
Confronting Our Shadows
Inherently, humans have an aversion to discomfort, a primal urge to find refuge from life's tumultuous storms. Yet, this resistance, much like the confounding dynamics of a Chinese finger trap, often ensnares us further in our challenges. Our instinctive evasion of unsettling emotions isn't a mere passing disposition. On the contrary, it's an energy-intensive endeavor. By perpetually sidestepping these feelings, we inadvertently bear a much greater weight, often for years on end, constantly engineering our lives to ensure these emotions remain suppressed and distant.
ACT lights a different path—one of confrontation. A path where freedom is earned not by fleeing shadows but by facing them, understanding them, and ultimately, mastering them.
The Dance of Mind and Body
Since avoiding painful emotions is a normal human function, why mess with what’s working?
In truth, the mind has confused the dangers of bodily harm with the consequences of experiencing emotions that have a strong intensity. You see, our thoughts, tied to deep emotions, trick our fight, flight, or freeze mechanism into high gear, and we actually believe that our deep emotions can harm us, causing us to push them away and avoid them for years on end. But this resistance is where the real harm to us, physically and emotionally, occurs.
In short, it’s not working. While we think it is normal to push away touch emotions to keep us safe, it is actually having the opposite effect. The way we have evolved, we have the capacity to learn from and grow by working with our emotions. Instead, we push them away to escape, avoid, or control them, which prevents us from evolving in ways that would provide greater value to the challenges we face in today’s world, collectively and individually.
Our thoughts, memories, and emotions—though ethereal—cast profound ripples through our physical being. Especially when tinted with survival instincts, these intangible entities can summon genuine stress responses, affecting our well-being. So even if you don’t wish to evolve your current experience of life, the impact of not maturing your interactions with your emotions has a very real and negative impact on your health and well-being.
But wisdom lies in discernment. Recognizing the distinction between real threats and the ghosts of our past or the specter of our future is pivotal. Such clarity liberates us, paving the way for genuine healing and growth.
A New Dawn of Transformation
In many approaches to life’s challenges you will hear the message that you can’t find happiness by using, learning, or leveraging some tool or way of being that will bring you happiness. Unfortunately, what is (insert information about the happiness trap here) being sold is more of the same; pushing away emotions and using tools to escape, avoid, or control something that is embedded in your way of being through your habits and behaviors, and hidden from your logical view.
ACT's version of acceptance isn't about weathering life's storms but learning to dance in the rain. It beckons us to view even our darkest emotions, including those birthed from trauma, as profound teachers.
This wisdom resonates with age-old teachings urging us to embrace life in its entirety—its highs, its lows, its calm, and its storms. This isn’t about surviving what’s going to happen, it’s about being willing and curious so as to learn from what you are carrying around - the emotions of past experiences that directly control our actions and behaviors, and as such, our experience of life. It's a call to live not in the shadow of challenges but illuminated by the lessons they offer.
Weaving the Web of Relationships
One of the biggest advantages of leveraging this approach?
Life's essence is intricately woven through our relationships. Beyond fleeting interactions, they are the threads that embroider our existence, shaping our worldview and emotional landscape.
In the grand tapestry of ACT, and in life, relationships are vital. They, along with acceptance and gratitude, are the golden threads that fashion our unique odyssey of discovery, growth, and transcendence.
ACT doesn't solely champion acceptance; it emphasizes harmony. While acceptance teaches us to cradle our emotions with understanding, commitment propels us forward, aligned with our core values.
This delicate balance, where emotional introspection complements proactive action, crafts a life of resonance and purpose.
Journeying with Acceptance
This isn’t your grandparents acceptance…
Acceptance isn't a destination; it's a journey. As life unfolds its myriad chapters, our emotions follow suit. Through ACT, we learn the art of sailing—navigating the calm and the storms with equal grace. With a touch of courage and the willingness to try something new, the world will open to potential, opening you to new vistas beyond the horizon!
But it’s even more than that.
Such commitment to acceptance transforms challenges into steppingstones, enriching our lives in dimensions both internal and external.
A Closing Thought
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy isn't merely a therapeutic tool; it's a compass for life that Therapists, Drs, and average people across the world put to work to transform their lives. It beckons us to embrace our entirety, to venture boldly towards our aspirations, and to craft a life rich with purpose, connection, and boundless joy.
Personal Reflection
A Personal Perspective as it relates to the content of this post - please feel free to share your personal reflections in the comments below!
I am so fond of the ACT approach and the uniques ways it supports anyone who is curious about life, facing tough challenges, or working to create new outcomes in your life - be it relationships, your livelihood, your well-being, or the things you do to create some fun along the way!
Although there is a LOT to what makes ACT work in general practice, there are a lot of books you can read to easily get your toe in the water, or jump in all the way and start swimming. One of the nice things about ACT is that it’s approach is to speak in metaphors and provide experiential exercises that really give you a visceral sense of what’s being taught.
Bottom line, you really can’t go wrong with its application to your life and purpose.
Enjoy!
Try This On
Activities for engaging the ideas in this post!
The following comes from Steven Hayes via one of the emails he sent out to his subscribers (you can subscribe at Steven Hayes’ Web site):
Are You Feeling Overwhelmed? ~ by Steve C. Hayes
I’ve been working as a psychologist for more than 40 years, and I often get asked how I deal with difficult thoughts and feelings. After all, I have spent so much time helping people get better that I surely must be a paragon of mental health – a prime example of someone who deals nearly perfectly with life’s inevitable emotional challenges.
As much as I would like this to be true, people who know me best could assure you that this is just not the case.
The reality is that despite my knowledge and experience, I still continue to struggle when emotions get rolling. I have time admitting I did something harmful; I get a bit too caught up with anger when life seems unfair and unjust; I may have a hard time sleeping as I relive the mistakes of the day or revisit a worrisome future. And when emotionally overwhelmed I may say hurtful things or just retreat into a shell.
It took me a long while to come to terms with this reality: no matter what I do, I will always be a work in progress. That awareness contains a bittersweet reassurance. It means that emotional struggling is a part of the normal human experience. If that is true of you too it not because you are “broken,” but because you are a living, breathing human being and or goals needs to be kinder and more self-compassionate: to make progress
I’m still nowhere near perfect at applying ACT principles in my own life but those I love and trust tell me I have gotten better over the years. Here is my go-to formula you can use when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Step #1 Notice
When the world seems to come crashing down, and emotions get rolling, it’s hard to think straight. That is why the first step is straightforward and simple: notice that this is currently hard for you. It can be as simple as having a quick moment of clarity while you are experiencing an emotional outburst. This may sound easy enough, but it requires some practice, because it’s almost always even easier to “lose yourself” in the commotion of your thoughts and feelings. If you practice the skill of noticing, you will be able to catch your experiences as they unfold in the present moment, allowing you to make a wiser decision of what you want to do next.
Step #2 Feel
The next step is trickier. When overwhelming thoughts and feelings get a hold of you, they might convince you that you are not okay. And the only way for you to become “okay” again, is by getting rid of these thoughts and feelings, making you resort to old habits in an effort to feel better. You might lash out, stuff yourself with comfort food, smoke a cigarette or two, disappear in social media, or use any other means of escapism. And it works… at least for a moment, until you find yourself overwhelmed again, leading you to repeat the cycle.
What you might not realize in those situations, is that you still have a choice. And rather than running away from your experience, you can learn to simply be with it. This means taking a moment to actually get inside your body: what can you feel right now? And where do you feel it? Actually take a few seconds, maybe even a minute or two, and explore what you can notice internally. Where can you notice commotion? Is what you are feeling steady? Or is it moving? What else can you notice? Practice being curious about your own experience.
This can be scary, especially if you have a history of avoiding uncomfortable feelings. (Ahem). However, you don’t need to go all the way right from the start. You can start small and simple, for instance by just focusing on what you can feel in your right index finger. From here, you can explore your sensations in your other fingers, then your full hand, your arm, your chest, your stomach, and so on. Make sure to do it in a way where you know on a gut level that you will be okay – with kindness, patience, and care.
Step #3 Step Forward
Now the hardest one. Focus outward and take a step. If you are in an argument with a loved one, try to say at least one kind thing that is not in the service of defense. If you are down because of a problem at work see if you can take at least one step toward goals that matter there. Whatever it may be, take a moment to move towards a valued direction. This doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; a small step suffices. It can be as simple as drinking a glass of water, writing a an email to a loved one, or giving your dog some well-deserved belly rubs. The possibilities are endless. What matters is that you take a small action in the direction of what gives your life purpose and meaning.
__
Whenever you find yourself struggling with feeling overwhelmed, follow this simple three-step formula: Notice that this is hard for you, feel inside your body, and move in a valued direction.
No, this will not eliminate feeling overwhelmed, nor is it supposed to. Instead, the aim of this technique is to help you become a tiny bit more flexible, so you can have difficult thoughts and feelings, while still doing whatever enriches and empowers your life.
You are a whole person having a human experience. You will still continue sometimes feeling overwhelmed, but with practice you will have more skills to recenter yourself, and then refocus your life on what you actually care about.
__
Enjoy!
BOOK SUGGESTION
The following are a group of books, marked for different reading levels, that will provide you with greater depth of information and provide another authors unique perspective on this topic. So, if you are curious about this topic and wish to explore it further, take a look at one of these:
Subject Level: Basic
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
Why? This book introduces the core concepts of ACT in a simple and accessible way, making it suitable for beginners.
Subject Level: Intermediate
Why? Authored by one of the primary figures behind ACT, this book delves deeper into the principles of ACT and provides practical exercises for self-improvement.
Subject Level: Advanced
Why? This comprehensive text provides an in-depth exploration of ACT, its theoretical underpinnings, and its practical applications. It's more suitable for readers with a strong interest in psychology and therapy.
Note: I am an Amazon Affiliate - Disclosure Here
Reading Levels
Basic - Concepts and Ideas readily consumed by any reader
Intermediate - Concepts and Ideas that are more advanced for the topic arena and will stretch the ideas of readers in the early stages of exploring this type of content
Advanced - Concepts and Ideas that are advanced and typically require that the reader is familiar with the topic arena.
Music For The Moment
Music has always held a special place in my heart as it speaks a universal language that resonates deep within us. I revel in the diversity of melodies, always on the lookout for unique artists who, through their artistry, introduce me to fresh perspectives, speaking to me in unique and beautiful ways. More than anything, music touches my soul, serving as a beautiful conduit for art, love, and the many unique expressions of life that music can conjure.
Below is a song that encapsulates the essence of this posts’ sentiment for me. I hope it either introduces you to a new auditory delight or prompts you to reflect on a tune that resonates with the feelings this post evokes in you. Feel free to comment if you find one that hits the mark!
Celtic: "The Parting Glass" (Traditional)
A Celtic folk song often sung at the end of gatherings, it reflects on the parting of friends and the value of cherishing moments and connections.
Classical: "Clair de Lune" by Claude Debussy
This serene classical piece can evoke a sense of inner peace and contemplation, aligning with the themes of acceptance and reflection (you may have to turn up the volume a little for this version, but it’s worth it).
What did you think?
By expressing your thoughts and ideas below you make my writing better - while giving other readers an outside perspective on the relevance and value of this post to its readers!
Please Like or Comment, or even Share if you are so moved!
Thank You!